The Grapes of Math

(AP) There's an IBM commercial running these days that lauds the abilities "math" possesses to make the world a better place. From traffic improvements to fixing the economy, a series of smart-looking people presents the viewer with the idea that "math" can make everything better, even smarter. In fact "let's build a smarter planet" is the tag-line for the piece, and something I've been saying since MTV (that's MUSIC Television, for the lay-person) stopped playing music and instead turned its focus and finances to the ever-so-interesting lives of over-privileged West Coast youths. So I, for one, am ready to sign on the dotted line. But I don't see any queues being formed outside my local IBM, as eager hordes gather to get their first glimpse at "math's" wonders...

It could certainly be some combination of the facts that;

a) Traffic is horrible in any town with more than five cars,
b) The American economy makes Titanic look like an uplifting film
and, c) A sandwich costs 3 dollars more in NYC than in Pennsylvania

that leave most skeptic at the powers of "math." If the lofty claims IBM makes towards "math's" capabilities stand up to the truth test, then how come they have not been exploited as of yet? Why wait around to fix traffic, why tease the nation that financial ethics lost with the promise of "math" and reasonably priced lunches without actually putting the proverbial money where the proverbial mouth is? Someone must know something we Joe and Jane Schmoes don't or surely we would all be sitting high on our thrones drinking ice-cold "Math"onade. In fact, there seems to be a much more expansive agenda being pushed than a 30-second commercial is normally equipped for.

Ladies and Gentlemen of the jury, I present exhibit A: George Orwell's 1984, the classic tale of the plight of the idealistic few against the dystopic many. A tale of a fictitious future in which everything has been "math"ed to a T, where there are no surprises and everyone operates in robot-like harmony towards the common goal of societal greatness. Everyone except for our heroes of course, who battle against this "math" society towards free will; after all, if it's good enough for God to allow...

A battle that exists in the psyche of the real world as well, after all it was IBM's Deep Blue computer that in 1997 beat World Chess Champion Garry Kasparov, proving for all time that machines are not only out to get us, but are indeed smarter than us already, probably waiting to ambush us at any moment so WATCH YOUR BACK!

But.

Is this really what is bothering us? Perhaps it is more accurate to say that most people don't like doing math and are therefore less apt to accept its merits. Perhaps IBM is trying to win back our trust(and I don't mean the trust lost after the 2001 book that accused IBM of supporting the Third Reich). Perhaps they are trying to pull us from the depths of Orwellian math illiteracy and in to the light of technology. Perhaps we have been trying so hard to avoid 1984 that we forgot the PC was made available to the public three years prior, in 1981.

So let's forget our differences and shake hands with technology, so that public transportation can run on time and our economy's ills can be cured with the click of a mouse

But most importantly, so that I can pay a reasonable price for Roast Beef on Rye.